Reading has been hard. Hard to get motivated and hard to stay focused. I guess I'm in a slump. French Milk was okay. I'm liking My Life in France more. And I'm listening to the audio form of Bleak House. I'm so glad. I don't know if I would have kept up with it in the paper version. It's a looong book with looong chapters full of looong descriptions of a whole lot of stuff and even more people. Dickens was looong winded.
I'm emotional. All. The. Time. There's the depression I've been fighting with since Thanksgiving, the intensifying chronic insomnia, and then the passing away of my uncle. I'm a wreck. Ask me a question and I will snap at you. Say boo and I will burst into tears. I'm so frustrated about everything. I ruined dinner tonight. Bacon spit in my face leaving a blister near my eye. Someone left a comment on an old review and I freaked out. I have a big zit on my nose. My pajamas were wet when I put them on. I can't figure out what to read next. Every one of these things is worth sobbing tears. But what is really bothering me?
I want my uncle back! And I want to wake up from a deep, restful sleep and find my joy in the everyday. But for now I'd take having my uncle back.
So, to change the subject, I've been creating. It gives me something to focus myself on without requiring too much from me. I've been crocheting scarves for that Etsy shop I'm still planning to open. The crocheting has been a point of happiness amongst the gloom. I love how the scarves are turning out. They're curly; some are lacy looking(like the one pictured which is my favorite), some fluffy, some skinny. I love playing with different colors and textures. Creating something beautiful rejuvenates me. This is why I need that Etsy shop, so I can buy all the pretty parts and turn them into a beautiful whole without breaking the bank.
Blogging helps me to feel better too. Thank you to those who stop and listen for a while. I appreciate you.